Skipping Stones

“I KNEW”

(Phil’s personal blog–July, 2017)

“Stop, stop and take a better look
There ain’t no telling what you’ll find
In the corner of a darkened room…”

Right now–at this moment—a half dozen of my friends are standing at the edge of a cliff. Their toes are curled over the lip and they’re ready to jump.

Two of them will soon be filing for divorce after decades of relatively stable marriages. One is floating face-down at the bottom of a deep, dark trough of depression; another, in her 50s, was just diagnosed Type 2 Bi-Polar. The other is full-blown suicidal due to recurring job and financial losses from a career once filled with riches and brushes with stardom.

They all share a common trait. They’re ruminating on the quiet lie from a ghoulish, invisible enemy whispering in their ear. It’s telling them their life would be better by jumping. Jumping into the divorce, jumping into addiction, into suicide.

No one has to tell them they’re in a nightmare. They’re living it day by day, in dark gray, monochromatic misery. What they don’t know is that their nightmare isn’t a death sentence. It’s anything but. It’s a mirage, actually. Yet they do not and cannot know otherwise.

It could be they’re merely in a prolonged season of brainwashing from a childhood trauma-demon seeking to paralyze them. They can’t fathom the notion that things will get better…ever. The conclusion they’ve embraced is that the only solution to their fate is…fate itself.

But it’s not true. As I’ve personally confronted similar demons in my past I’ve discovered there’s always a way through the darkness. But what’s critical to seeing light at the end of the tunnel is being able to somehow separate the truth from the lies.

So…what is true? About our real lives, real circumstances, past or present?

We must all ask that question. Daily, from the small, mundane decisions to the monumental once-in-a-lifetime choices like who to marry (or unmarry), what career to pursue, what investments to make, where to live, etc. It takes truth to make informed decisions and act accordingly.

I was thinking about these weighty things while riding bikes with my daughter Annie around Seattle’s Pike Place Market yesterday. Later, on our way home on the ferry I shared with her a song by Bonnie Raitt. It beautifully captures the truth about the choices we must make to face life’s problems and how we must deal with them–head on. The lyrics, skillfully written by Pat McLaughlin, remind us that no matter what problems we face, we must eventually face them. Through the lens of truth…the truth about our deepest needs, wounds, disappointments and the opportunities that often follow in their turbulent wake.

The song is aptly titled “I Knew,” which is a message in itself. Because when we truly face our realities, or problems, we are facing the truth. Only when the truth is in our sights can we eventually break free.

There’s so much of life I don’t understand, including many of my friends’ struggles. But I’ve personally found great comfort and security in the age old saying ”You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

PS—On a lighter note, check out Bonnie’s song (free). It’s got a raw vulnerability to the lyrics. And the sliding chord progression, soulful use of the Hammond B3 paired with Bonnie’s smokin’ sensual voice should have landed this tune on the Billboard Top 10 Billboard chart >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNbXvD7J6y8

I Knew–by Bonnie Raitt

Time, time ain’t never healed the wound
Can’t think of anything that gets
Any better because it’s old

Change, change would probably do me good
Wouldn’t probably hurt a thing
Anyway, that’s what I’m told

I would have run, but I couldn’t run
Would have flown, but I couldn’t fly
I would have headed right back into town
I would have lied, but I couldn’t lie
Because I knew

Stop, stop and take a better look
There ain’t no telling what you’ll find
In the corner of a darkened room

Things, things that either one time fell
Or blew down from a windowsill
Or never got up by the broom

I would have run, but I couldn’t run
Would have flown, but I couldn’t fly
I would have headed right back into town
I would have lied, but I couldn’t lie
Because I knew

No two ways about it, it’s a doggone shame
Baby, it’s a doggone shame

I would have run, but I couldn’t run
Would have flown, but I couldn’t fly
I would have headed right back into town
I would have lied, but I couldn’t lie
Because I knew

(Pat McLaughlin, lyrics)

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